Karma

I used to half way believe in karma. Throughout the span of my twenty-eight years it seemed as though I received more of the bad than the good I thought I put into the world.

But regardless, I still believed in the old saying, "What goes around comes around."

Two and a half years ago my heart was shattered, and yes I am still recovering. I put my heart on the line, moved what seemed like a million miles, left my career -- for love. A love I believed was geuine and special. A 'Notebook' love, if you will.

My heart was broken when I found out, shortly thereafter, he was cheating on me. I stood my ground, shelled out what was left of my heart and nearly begged him not to go. (How pathetic, looking back.) His response was he was still in-love with his ex-girlfriend, and with that he left.

How could he? How could he love her? He loved me. He told me he loved me. He promised me the sun, the moon and the stars. I gave up my life for him and he's leaving me. ME? For some redneck homewrecking skank? What the fuck am I going to tell my kids? How stupid am I going to look? What the fuck am I going to do?

The everlasting question: What is so wrong with me?

So that was it. He left me.

And then he came back.

Then he left me again.

Then came back.

I was too old for all this back and forth shit. A voice within my head was screaming at the constant indecisive behavior. My heart was already torn apart, so he had a decision to make.

It was me... or it was going to be her. That was it.

He made his decision. It was me. And that was it.

Two and a half years later, we're still together. Two and a half years later, she found a new man. Two and a half years later she planned to marry this new man.
Two and a half years later he cheated on her and left her for another.

Although, the story was sad and I could feel her heartbreak, I couldn't help but feel vindicated.

What goes around, comes around.