Glutton for Punishment?

I have the ability to retain the most painful experiences in my memory bank. But I forgot what I had for dinner yesterday.

Don't get me wrong, I vividly remember life-changing positive experiences as well; the day my children were born; the day I met my b/f; the day I left my ex-husband (lol).

Life-changing. Maybe that's why I retain all of this unnecessary, painful CRAP.

I had this ex. An ex who was horrible to me. I'd rather not get into detail. But we've all had those exes who just weren't great, or were mean, or who just had their own demons to work out -- it may have just happened to be at the expense of your self-worth, or your face.

Anyways, he contacted me again. He apologized. That's it. There wasn't anymore to it. Irregardless of what type of closure it provided to him, it provided the same to me. Even though it happened over ten years ago, just to know that he recognizes the turmoil he caused me was enough for me to close that chapter.

Well, to make a long story short, I've had A LOT of those kind of exes. Glutton for punishment? Probably so.

So during the course of young adulthood, I ended up dating another guy. Started out as a roommate type deal and turned into something else. Something controlling, abusive and terrible. But even the terrible events you experience, are life-changing. They are negatively profound and something that changes who you are and your view of this world, is important and never seems to fade.

With that being said, I found him. I was frozen for a moment when I saw his face. And with so many things to say at once, I found myself absolutely speechless.

Glutton for punishment? Probably. Looking for closure in order that I may check those emotions into storage. Absolutely.